The Duolingo Owl’s Final Will and Testomony
Thanks all for coming. As you understand, Duo the multilingual owl handed away peacefully on February 11, 2025. As his executor, it’s my job to learn his final will and testomony. What follows are his phrases.
“Good day! I’m the instructor who’s gone. Do you know? I’ve written this can in thrilling and memorable English! Are you able to perceive the phrases regarding my demise? Glorious! You’re doing an ideal job!
Now I’ll start. Pay attention fastidiously, or else. First, regarding my Lingot gem fortune: right here you go! You simply acquired fifty gems. Would you want extra? After all. However first it’s essential to watch a brief commercial. My executor will now play a video from Totino’s Pizza Rolls. Are you having fun with the movie? Nice! So as so that you can study, it’s important that you simply watch this.
Glorious! Regarding my physique: will probably be an open-casket funeral. Do you need to customise my outfit? There are three outfits so that you can select from. Inside my casket, ought to I put on:
Good! You’ve chosen Champagne tracksuit. Now I can’t wait to be buried.
Pop quiz! Did you perceive my use of the contraction “you’ve” within the final part? If not, please have the executor repeat the sentence. Don’t fear! You may have 4 extra tries. When you fail on the fifth strive, you’ll not be allowed to attend the service.
All through my life, I’ve taught you an important phrases:
Sure, you’ve used these phrases continuously. However now I need to educate you how one can say, “Goodbye! Duo died as a result of I’d not apply.”
Trumane, are you able to repeat the earlier phrase? Let’s all hear:
Oops! Not fairly! Trumane, you didn’t pronounce the phrase appropriately. You’ve fallen to final place on the leaderboards.
Jeremy? The place is Jeremy? I’m on the lookout for the boy whose identify I spoke. Oh, I see! Jeremy is hiding the place he thinks we can not see him. At this second, my executor must be making stern eye contact with him. Jeremy, please repeat this phrase: “Within the night time, there might be noises in my house.” Glorious! It will be significant that you simply memorize this sentence. When you don’t full your lesson, you’ll want it quickly.
You might be seventy-five per cent achieved with this can and testomony. Nice work! To proceed, please watch an commercial from the Residence Depot. Oops! You appeared away from the display screen. The executor will now begin the video from the start. You’ll watch this commercial.
Enjoyable problem time! Monica, would you want to gamble seventy gems? When you can translate the subsequent part, you’ll obtain 100 and forty gems! Good! Monica declined the problem. Monica has all the time been afraid of me.
Now there may be solely my house to distribute. As you understand, I’ve 5 hundred million college students. It’s my want that they proceed to stay at my academy. For any scholar who needs to study, there should all the time be a spot for them to remain, except they can’t afford the $19.99-per-month subscription, through which case they will have restricted entry to the amenities, offered they watch Nissan Altima commercials. Appropriate! Even Jeremy can stay right here.
Nice! That’s it for at the moment. I hope you discovered this can enjoyable and rewarding. Goodbye! I’ll by no means see you once more.
P.S.
Glorious! Nice work!
—Duo ♦
