My husband expects me to care for his aged mom
DEAR ABBY: I’m 58 and 5 years into my second marriage. We lived collectively somewhat over a 12 months earlier than getting married. I spent seven years as a caregiver for my mother and father earlier than marrying my present husband.
We moved to Kentucky from Florida as a result of his mother wanted us shut, however for the reason that transfer, he has grow to be somebody I hardly know. We lastly bought his extreme despair beneath management, however he has grow to be petty and vindictive. He’s form of a bully. He watches nothing however conspiracy principle movies on YouTube. I don’t know what to do. He wasn’t that manner once we dated.
I used to be planning on leaving in a few years, however it has gotten somewhat higher since he’s on the fitting meds. I must rebuild my credit score after the previous couple of years and lower your expenses. I’m placing most of my paycheck right into a separate account. However it’s actually exhausting to maneuver previous these previous couple of horrible years. He expects me to care for his mother, who deserted him as a toddler. I don’t need to. I actually dislike her. Am I improper to nonetheless be pondering of leaving? — STUCK NOWHERE
DEAR STUCK: Your husband could have married you so he’d have somebody to care for his mom. You paid your dues for seven years with your personal mother and father. Remind your husband that you simply moved to Kentucky so HE, not you, may care for his mother, and you’ll not permit him to foist her off on you. Preserve salting your cash away, and when you could have sufficient to make a brand new begin, resolve then whether or not you need to transfer on.
DEAR ABBY: I’m a 20-something homosexual male who was seeing a man in his 50s who lives a pair hours away. For nearly two months, we spoke practically day-after-day and noticed one another as time allowed. I believed we had nice chemistry, and I held him in excessive regard. (He even launched me to your column.)
Out of nowhere, he’s saying he feels solely friendship for me and that we aren’t in the identical place emotionally. It’s a complete intestine punch. I really feel like I did or stated one thing improper, however I don’t know what it’s, so I’m blaming myself. I replay all our conversations and dates in my head, trying to find the place I went improper.
How do I break this cycle? And the way can I permit myself to belief different males — particularly older males — after I really feel so burned by my interplay with Mr. Fifties? — TWENTY-SOMETHING IN TENNESSEE
DEAR TWENTY-SOMETHING: Please cease being so exhausting on your self. One thing absolutely occurred. Perhaps the chemistry between the 2 of you wasn’t as sturdy as you thought it was. It’s additionally attainable that he met somebody and didn’t have the braveness to be sincere about it. No matter his motive, you haven’t any selection however to just accept that the 2 of you weren’t in the identical place emotionally. It’s time to maneuver on with out assuming that each one older males are the identical.
Expensive Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also referred to as Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Expensive Abby at http://www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
