How do I make a person cease hitting on me whereas his associate has dementia
DEAR ABBY: I’m a widow of twenty years who has raised a household in an previous historic dwelling in a small island city. In the middle of renovating and sustaining the house, a father-and-son electrician workforce has been like household.
Through the previous 12 months or so, the dad, who’s in his late 70s (older than I’m) has began making undesirable romantic overtures within the type of suggestive or lovey-dovey texts, emails, cellphone calls, invites to lunch or cocktails and professions of getting harbored “secret fantasies” whereas working for me all through the years. What’s even worse is that his romantic associate of many years is in a mid-range stage of dementia.
I discover this annoying and insulting, and I’ve politely discouraged or tried to deflect his overtures with humor. Thankfully, he doesn’t reside on the island, but when he sees my automotive on the town, he begs me to satisfy up for a “fast hug.”
Electricians of his caliber are uncommon, and I actually can’t afford to lose him. His moonlighting charges have at all times been a “family and friends” deal. His son has taken a job with an enormous outfit and is never obtainable. How do I pull the plug on the dad’s amorous advances, with out him blowing a fuse? — EXTINGUISHED IN MAINE
DEAR EXTINGUISHED: Inform this man in plain English that you just suppose he’s a terrific buddy, however you might be morally against involving your self romantically with anybody whose associate is ailing. He wants to listen to it.
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DEAR ABBY: My mother and two sisters continuously complain about their bodily illnesses. None of them has been evaluated or identified by a doctor. They’ve tried repeatedly to deal with themselves with outdated recommendation and cure-alls that aren’t backed by scientific info.
I’ve tried to specific to them the significance of correct diet and resistance coaching, since constructing and maintaining muscle is so essential as we age. Abby, I’m no professional, however I’ve remodeled my physique and my life with these easy guidelines. My mother and sisters are so defensive and dismissive of my recommendation, I’ve all however given up making an attempt to speak to them.
In the event that they received’t at the least strive one thing new to really feel higher, how can I cope with their fixed complaining? Do I preserve suggesting the identical issues to them? Do I ignore their complaints? — FAMILY HELPER IN CALIFORNIA
DEAR HELPER: As a result of making an attempt to information your mom and your sisters towards a more healthy life-style hasn’t labored and has turn out to be a supply of frustration for you, cease making an attempt to assist. They’ve tuned you out, and your efforts are wasted. A step in the proper route could be to disregard their complaints and alter the topic reasonably than give them recommendation they received’t comply with.
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DEAR READERS: Oh, how shortly the previous 12 months has flown! I want you all a cheerful, wholesome and profitable 2025. I be a part of you tonight in toasting a New 12 months that will probably be full of hope for all of us. If you’re celebrating tonight, please take measures to guard not solely your personal well being but in addition the protection of others. Completely satisfied New 12 months, everybody! — LOVE, ABBY
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Pricey Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also called Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Pricey Abby at http://www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
