Excerpts from a Sitcom Set in New York Metropolis by Writers Who Are Clearly from California

INT. APARTMENT—NIGHT

Greatest pals REBECCA (an intern at a boutique e book writer) and _HANNAH (an intern at a style journal) reside collectively in an reasonably priced, two-bedroom condo on the Higher East Facet. They’re throwing a celebration tonight, like they do most weekends, as a result of their average-size, twenty-five-hundred-square-foot condo overlooking Central Park is ideal for accommodating large teams. Within the kitchen, Rebecca is chatting with MIKE, an lawyer at a big company regulation agency, whom she’s simply met.

MIKE: It is a great spot you guys have right here. So quaint and comfy. How’re you liking it?

REBECCA: It’s O.Okay., however slightly cramped. So I’m pondering of transferring right into a two-bedroom place on my own in order that I can have an workplace.

MIKE: Is sensible.

REBECCA: How about you? What a part of New York Metropolis do you reside in?

MIKE: I’m on the Higher West Facet.

REBECCA: Good! Really easy to get to from right here!

MIKE: I do know, proper? Only a quick subway experience away!

In the meantime, Hannah, who’s driving again from the comfort retailer the place she’s gone to get ice, is chatting together with her good friend LINDSAY.

HANNAH: Acquired any weekend plans?

LINDSAY: I’m going to go to my good friend in Princeton.

HANNAH: Are you driving there? What roads are you planning to take? Please inform me in particular element.

LINDSAY: I’ll most likely take the eighty-seven to the ninety-five, then head down New Jersey Turnpike.

HANNAH: Hmm, you is likely to be higher off taking Cross Bronx Expressway to the two-seventy-eight.

LINDSAY: You positive? What about taking Bruckner Expressway to the four-ninety-five?

HANNAH: Good thought! Let’s proceed to debate, at size, what the optimum route can be.

Hannah spots an empty area, however, realizing that it requires parallel parking, decides it could be simpler to search for a shopping mall with a free lot.

INT. UBER—NIGHT

Mike and Rebecca depart the celebration round midnight to return to his place. Realizing the subway is now not operating at that hour, they determine to take a fairly priced seventy-five-dollar Uber.

REBECCA: Don’t you simply love driving down Broadway—the road that each one the theatres are on?

MIKE: I do. However don’t overlook that New York additionally has lots of nice Off Broadway theatres—the theatres which might be just some blocks off of Broadway.

REBECCA: True! Isn’t it nice residing in a metropolis the place reside theatre performs such a giant function in our day-to-day lives?

INT. APARTMENT—DAY

Hannah and Linsday are hanging out in Lindsay’s small, two-thousand-square-foot condo overlooking Central Park. Lindsay props her ft up on the ottoman to unwind after her shift on the traditional New York pizza eatery Sbarro. Her hair is frizzy as a result of it’s an unbearably muggy day—thirty-per-cent humidity. The truth is, it’s been unusually moist all summer time. It’s already rained twice.

HANNAH: Do you thoughts altering the thermostat? It’s sixty-four levels in right here!

LINSDAY: No downside, I’ll flip the A.C. right down to sixty.

INT. APARTMENT—DAY

Mike and Rebecca eat piping-hot Sbarro for breakfast.

MIKE: So what are you doing this weekend to decompress from the fast-paced world of boutique e book publishing?

REBECCA: I’m spending the weekend in Lengthy Island.

MIKE: Good! Isn’t being in Lengthy Island the most effective? How will you get there?

REBECCA: I’ll take the Lirr.

MIKE: The Lirr? I really like taking the Lirr in Lengthy Island!

REBECCA: I do, too! Besides when it’s so crowded that I’ve to attend in line.

MIKE: You’ve needed to wait in line for the Lirr in Lengthy Island?

REBECCA: I do know, proper? I hate ready in line for the Lirr in Lengthy Island!

INT. APARTMENT—DAY

Hannah and Linsday have simply completed discussing their favourite highways for attending to Connecticut. Outdoors, it’s softly drizzling.

HANNAH: I’m going to drive right down to the comfort retailer to get some ripe avocados to snack on, would you like something?

LINSDAY: Hannah, you may’t go outdoors proper now, it’s raining!

Hannah seems out the window on the gentle drizzle and realizes that Lindsay’s proper—going outdoors in these situations can be life-threatening.

HANNAH: True. And it’s exhausting to search out shopping-center parking on the Fifth Avenue, anyway. ♦