My brother is engaged to a argumentative shrew — ought to I break them up?
DEAR ABBY: My brother simply received engaged to the “WOAT” (Worst of All Time). They’ve been relationship for two 1/2 years, and no one within the household has something good to say about her. Previously, he at all times had steady relationships with ladies we actually loved. However now he’s getting older, his mates are getting engaged and it looks as if he’s settling and feeling stress. They’re at all times arguing, and issues he by no means did earlier than he’s doing now — a number of job adjustments, making much less time for household, and so on.
Everybody thinks that, because the oldest brother, I must be the one to voice our considerations about her. Would it not be too drastic to inform him it’s a foul concept? I used to be going to say I help him if he can discover three redeeming qualities in her as a result of none of us can discover one. — NO FAN OF HER IN THE EAST
DEAR NO FAN: I don’t suppose telling your lately engaged brother that his fiancee is the “worst of all time” and nobody within the household can discover any redeeming qualities in her can be welcomed. I do suppose, nonetheless, that because the oldest sibling you might level out that you’re involved as a result of he and this lady argue rather a lot, which is why you might be suggesting they search premarital counseling to move off any issues down the road. Then cross your fingers that he follows by means of.
DEAR ABBY: Despite the fact that we reside simply an hour away and wish to have a good time holidays with my aged dad and mom, they like to spend them with their mates. This began when my household lived 14 hours away. We’d come dwelling for both Thanksgiving or Christmas annually. If we weren’t dwelling, my dad and mom received along with a bunch of childless buddies. This labored out nice — they weren’t alone, and I didn’t really feel responsible.
We moved again dwelling three years in the past, primarily to be close to household once more.
Nonetheless, my dad and mom spend all the foremost holidays with their buddies, even when my household is dwelling alone. Then my mother asks me to host an alternate vacation so the household can get collectively. Final 12 months, I attempted to speak it by means of together with her. I stated it was hurtful that she selected to spend holidays together with her mates and requested her to think about household plans first. However she was quickly as much as her previous tips. I’m 53, however I nonetheless need my mother and pa. What ought to I do? — NEEDY IN MASSACHUSETTS
DEAR NEEDY: As a result of “speaking it by means of” together with your mom hasn’t labored, it’s time so that you can begin making different plans for the foremost holidays.
You might be solely as dwelling alone as you wish to be. You and your husband may journey or be part of an area group and do some volunteering for these much less lucky than you in your neighborhood.
It’s time to take a web page out of your mom’s playbook and do what she did, which is to declare some independence from her.
Pricey Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, often known as Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Pricey Abby at http://www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
