Ought to I skip my daughter’s commencement if my spouse cannot come?
DEAR ABBY: My daughter is graduating from faculty with a bachelor’s diploma — a proud second. I’m divorced from her mom. Each her mom and I are invited to attend the ceremony, however she has not invited my present spouse, whom she doesn’t like. She has said that she has solely a restricted variety of tickets and needs to ask her mother’s shut kinfolk.
This has put me in an uncomfortable place, as my spouse feels ignored and aggrieved. I can both insist to my daughter that she has to ask my spouse or I received’t attend, or I can go, insisting to my spouse that it is a vital second in my daughter’s life and I should be there. What ought to I do? — CONFLICTED IN CALIFORNIA
DEAR CONFLICTED: In case your present spouse had a hand within the demise of your marriage to your first spouse, I can perceive your daughter’s dislike of her. If it’s a character battle, she shouldn’t be shocked that she wasn’t invited.
I agree with you that your daughter’s faculty commencement is a big milestone. I perceive why you’re feeling the should be there to have a good time it together with her. Clarify to your spouse that you want to her to “be the larger particular person” and ship you off to the ceremony with out including to your drawback. Then do what your coronary heart tells you to do.
DEAR ABBY: We’ve 5 grandchildren. All however one name me MeeMaw. I’ve been MeeMaw since my first grandchild was born 15 years in the past. 4 years in the past, our third grandchild was born, and the fourth arrived the subsequent month. This fourth grandchild was calling me MeeMaw till at some point when she began calling me MeeMawMeeMaw, which my baby’s partner advised me “began out of the blue.”
It quickly turned obvious this grandchild was being advised to do it. That is the primary grandchild for her different grandmother, who has determined she goes to be known as MeeMaw and I’d not be.
At first, I attempted to let it go, however as time goes on, it’s actually bothering me. It might have been effective for us each to be MeeMaw, however I believe it’s improper for somebody to inform my grandchild they will’t name me what I’ve been known as for a few years and what all my different grandchildren name me.
I don’t wish to trigger issues, however that is inflicting me nice stress. What ought to I do, or how can I get by way of this? I’ve been given a nickname that I didn’t ask for and that I don’t like. — RENAMED IN NEW ENGLAND
DEAR RENAMED: Woman, you’ve gotten FIVE grandchildren; the opposite grandmother has solely ONE. If it’s necessary to her that this baby calls solely her MeeMaw, be beneficiant. Let her have the respect. It received’t imply the kid has much less love for you. Within the phrases of Shakespeare, “A rose by another title would scent as candy.”
P.S. “MeeMawMeeMaw” is sort of a mouthful. It doesn’t take a crystal ball to see that, in time, the child will shorten it by one MeeMaw.
Pricey Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also referred to as Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Pricey Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
